One day I was talking with a friend of mine just having girl talk. She began talking about her goals and aspirations. Immediately, I found myself comparing myself to her. I should have goals and aspirations like these, I said to myself. Why I can’t be more goals oriented like this, I asked myself (Its funny how we can have a whole conversation in our heads and people around us have no idea). Anyways, while beating myself up in my head, I heard the Holy Spirit say, “stay in your lane.” This statement brought peace to me immediately because it reminded me that I was doing it again. I was allowing other people’s accomplishments to make me feel worthless again. I tend to want to compare myself with other people. I look at their strengths and I think I should have the strengths they have, especially if it’s in an area that I am weak. But that day God brought freedom to me by those words. The “old Nuku” as I would like to call her would have held on to those comparison thoughts and let it define her identity. Thinking to myself, because I don’t have those goals or strengths; then I am not good enough. I would start to feel worthless and insignificant. But the “new Nuku” that is walking with Christ, allowing the Holy Spirit to help her now realizes that we all are not the same. The Bible says “we are one body with many functions.” Romans 12:4. We all need each other to do the work of God. So when I start to compare myself, the Holy Spirit reminds me that I too have a specific purpose and destiny from God to propagate the gospel of Jesus Christ and to live a fulfilled life. I can now be joyful when people are operating in their gifts and strengths. If God is asking you to do something but you are so focused on what others are doing, you will miss on your calling. Don’t focus so much on what other people are doing. If you are not sure what your purpose is, spend time with the Lord, read his word and ask him to show you your purpose in life. If there’s an area in your life where you are weak, ask the Lord to strengthen you and give you the ability to overcome that weakness. For example, let’s say you want to lose weight and all of your attempts have been futile. Go before the Lord, He knows you better than anyone else. He will give you the understanding about your body and how it works. Everybody is different. The weight loss techniques that work for one person may not work for another and if a person keeps pursuing wrong techniques, they may not get the results they are hoping for. God is more than capable to give you the ability to do what needs to be done. When you are looking around and comparing yourself to other people, you won’t have time to focus on what God has called you to do. Another problem with comparison is that it can lead to low self-esteem. There will always be people that will be good at doing certain things that you are not good at. So when you compare yourself to them, you start to feel like you don’t measure up. But when you look to God, who created you, and ask him to show you your strengths, you won’t have the time to be worry about what you are lacking. You will be too busy operating in the grace that God has given you to fulfill your purpose in life. By the grace of God, when I find myself falling into the trap of comparison, I pull out the Word of God and study the scriptures that talk about comparison. Thank God for the advancement in technology, so we can search the internet to find bible verses that teach us how to handle various issues of life. If reading your bible seems overwhelming, I suggest you research the specific topics online. Once you get the bible verses you are looking for; go into your bible and turn to each bible verse and read them as many time as you can. Ask the Holy Spirit to give you new insights concerning the scriptures you are studying. Don’t just read it one day and forget about it. Continuously study those scriptures and overtime it will become a part of you. I even recommend writing each scripture on a note card and carry it with you. Whenever you are tempted to compare yourself with others; pull it out and start to read it out loud. With time you will start to see a difference. And when the devil comes to tempt you, you will start to speak those scripture back to the devil and he will flee from you. James 4:7. Below are some scriptures that have really helped me in this area. I urge you to open your bible, under the guidance of the Holy Spirit, and study the word of God. The power in the word of God can set you free from any type of bondage.
Here are some scriptures that have helped me:
- Galatians 6:4-5
- Corinthians 10:12
- James 3:16
- 1 Corinthians 3:3
- Romans 12:2
- Philippians 2:3
- Proverbs 3: 5-6
Your struggle may not be with comparison, it may be worry, anxiety, pride, jealousy, greed, lust etc. No matter what your struggles are, the principle is the same. Study the word of God in the area you are struggling and God will give you victory. Always remember Jesus is on your side and the Holy Spirit lives in you ready to help you. All you have to do is ask, believe and you will receive his help.
Stay Blessed and keep the faith
Your sister in Christ,